Breaking Free from Reactive Patterns That Control You

Someone criticizes you, and you shut down completely.

Your partner raises their voice, and you explode in anger.

You face a deadline, and you procrastinate until the last possible moment.

You know these reactions don't help you. You've promised yourself you'll respond differently next time. But when the moment comes, you react the exact same way—like you have no control over yourself.

And the truth is, in that moment, you don't have control. Your reactive mind does.

The Pattern That Runs Your Life

Reactive patterns are automatic responses that happen without your conscious control. They're triggered by specific situations, and they force you to react in ways that often hurt you.

You don't choose these reactions. They just happen. And no matter how many times you promise yourself you'll respond differently, the pattern repeats.

Here are some common reactive patterns:

Conflict avoidance: Someone upsets you, and you shut down instead of addressing it. The resentment builds until you explode or the relationship dies.

Defensive anger: Someone questions you, and you immediately get defensive or angry—even when they're trying to help.

Procrastination: You have something important to do, but you can't make yourself start. You wait until the last minute, then rush and stress.

People-pleasing: You say yes to everything, even when it hurts you. You can't set boundaries, and you end up exhausted and resentful.

Emotional shutdown: When things get hard, you go numb. You stop feeling, stop caring, stop trying.

These patterns aren't "just who you are." They're engrams—painful experiences stored in your reactive mind that force you to react the same way over and over.

How Reactive Patterns Form

Your reactive mind records every moment of pain, fear, unconsciousness, or trauma you've ever experienced. These recordings are called engrams.

When something in your present life reminds your reactive mind of an old engram, it takes control. It forces you to react the same way you did during the original painful experience—whether that reaction makes sense now or not.

For example:

When you were a child, maybe your parents punished you severely for making a mistake. You learned to shut down and hide whenever you were criticized.

Now, 30 years later, your boss gives you constructive feedback. Your reactive mind sees "criticism" and connects it to that old punishment. Suddenly, you shut down—even though your boss is trying to help you, not hurt you.

You don't think, "This reminds me of my parents." You just feel the fear and react.

The South African Context

In South Africa, many of us carry engrams from:

Violence and trauma: "When conflict started, I had to shut down or fight to survive."

Economic stress: "When things got hard, I had to work myself to exhaustion or we'd lose everything."

Systemic oppression: "When I stood up for myself, I was punished. It's safer to stay quiet."

Family dysfunction: "When emotions ran high, things got dangerous. I learned to go numb."

These experiences create reactive patterns that control our behavior for decades—often without us even realizing it.

Breaking the Pattern

The solution isn't willpower. It isn't "trying to be more aware." It isn't therapy that talks about the pattern without addressing the root cause.

The solution is finding and erasing the engrams that drive the pattern.

Dianetics provides the exact process to do this. You locate the painful experiences your reactive mind is reacting to, process them, and erase their power over you.

Once the engram is gone, the pattern stops. You don't have to "try" to respond differently. You just naturally respond in a way that makes sense for the present situation—not the past trauma.

What Happens When You Break Free

Imagine:

Responding to criticism with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

Handling conflict calmly and effectively instead of shutting down or exploding.

Taking action on important tasks instead of procrastinating.

Setting boundaries without guilt or fear.

Feeling your emotions without being controlled by them.

This isn't about becoming a different person. It's about becoming yourself—free from the reactive patterns that have been controlling you.

Take the First Step

If you're tired of repeating the same patterns, it's time to take action.

Read the book: Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health explains exactly how reactive patterns work and how to break them.

Order your copy: Get the book delivered anywhere in South Africa—Johannesburg, Cape Town, Durban, Bloemfontein, or anywhere in Mzansi.

Start your journey: Follow the techniques in the book to locate and erase the engrams driving your reactive patterns.

You don't have to keep reacting the same way. The solution is here. The question is: are you ready to use it?

Order Your Copy Now - R400

Break free from the patterns that control you and start living consciously.

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About Hubbard Dianetics Foundation South Africa

The Hubbard Dianetics Foundation South Africa is dedicated to making the life-changing technology of Dianetics available to individuals across South Africa. Our mission is to help people overcome mental barriers, resolve past trauma, and achieve their full potential through proven Dianetics techniques developed by <a href="https://www.lronhubbard.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">L. Ron Hubbard</a>.

Get Your Copy of Dianetics Today

Ready to take control of your mind and transform your life? Order your copy of Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health for just R400 (including free shipping across South Africa).

Order Your Copy Now →

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References & Further Reading

1. Hubbard, L. Ron. Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. Bridge Publications, 2007.
2. Research studies on trauma resolution and mental wellness techniques
3. Official Dianetics materials and training resources

Last updated: 19 January 2026

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for educational purposes and is based on Dianetics principles. Individual results may vary. For personalized guidance, consider consulting with a certified Dianetics practitioner.